how we came to live here

There is a fun thing going on at Our Suburban Cottage.  Annicole is inviting us all to recount how we found our house, flat, hut or palace.

This is the strange tale of the house that waited for our family.

Mon mari and I have had many different addresses.  In several different countries.  When I was expecting our first baby we were in a lovely sunny flat in Paris.  Great,  I hear you say, and it was, but we wanted trees, we wanted countryside, we wanted more... So by the time number 2 was on the way we found ourselves renting a beautiful orangery in Normandy.  This was lovely too, in the middle of an oak forest, but when I was expecting number 3, we were ready to buy, and things got serious.

The French real estate agent is a breed apart.  They think it indiscreet to give you details on properties for sale!  Not the best selling technique!   I had faxed ALL the local estate agents, notarial offices etc explaining what we were looking for.  NOBODY got back to me !

Finally an agent called me and I was invited to look at the details of a horrible ugly little house, "MAIS NON !!! I cried, this is not what I had in mind."  Luckily for me he was called away for a long phone call and I was left with his pile of forbidden property files!  Obviously I started going through and, lo and behold, found a picture I liked.  "VOILA!"  I excaimed to the harrassed agent when he came back into the office.  He looked worried, left the office and returned with Monsieur le DIrecteur.   They explained that it was not possible for me to see the house because it belonged to a big local family, and because my husband wasn't with me that day, and because and because.....

I persuaded them that I was capable of visiting a house without mon mari being present,  so against their better judgement off we went. 

What can I say, that evening I told mon mari I had found the place we needed to raise our children, and that night was filled with sweet dreams.

The estate agent hadn't finished surprising us;   he wouldn't take our calls, let alone inform the owners of our offer!

Weeks passed, and by chance a friend introduced us directly to the owner of the house.  A large and complicated family, who wanted to sell one day, but not necessarily the next.  Mon mari handled everything brilliantly, but it took a long long time, and our fourth baby en route.  Yes, a very long time - two whole years with nobody else interested!

Some things are just meant to be.  We may now be here forever  and see our children married in the garden, or we may pick up sticks and live another adventure in a far off land.  We will always be glad that the family has grown up here.  It may sound foolish but I believe that this house has loved looking after us as much as we've loved looking after it.

bright is beautiful

Now this wouldn't normally be my kind of room, but I sort of gasped when I saw it.

Can't you just see it full of a young family, loads of children, scruffy dog?

I could imagine myself here in a light sunny climate.  It's a relaxed, family room.  Love the sofa with its mismatched cushion covers.  So clever to co-ordinate colours to compliment each other this way.

photo  here

10th photo

 I have had a lovely surprise, Julie at  Being Ruby   has tagged me amongst others, to talk about my tenth photo.  Julie has amazing talent as a photographer, all the photos on her blog are hers, and are beautiful works of art. Her text comes close to poetry no matter how mundane the subject - let's just say it :  I can't hope to compete.

The tenth photo stored in my photo file happens to be one that was taken by my daughter of herself and her pony.  This picture tells several tales.  A sad one of how a lovely girl grew too attached to the wrong pony.  A creative one of the importance of expressing yourself artistically, and lastly the tale of how our ponies are an integral part of my children growing up.

I shall start with the last, growing up with ponies.  When I look at this picture I think of the pleasure my girls have sharing emotions with their ponies.  As small children might whisper their secrets into the ears of the softest teddy bear, so my daughters have told things to their ponies that no one else has ever heard.  Constant companions in good times and bad.

This daughter discovered photography a couple of years ago.  Artistic talent is not given space to grow in the French school system,  if you  want your children to appreciate the joy and importance of artistic expression it has to be encouraged at home.  My girl loves to take photos, alone, with friends, small exhibitions, alot of fun. She is a great communicator and I am curious to see how she'll use these talents in her future life.

Finally a tale of disappointment.  This pony's name is Oliver.  He is strong and handsome and was chosen for his potential to jump high, but we hadn't realised how arrogant and disrespectful he would become.  After almost two years of persevering we had to admit that we couldn't handle him, that he was dangerous even.  He had to be sold, but for us all it felt like a failure.  We thought we had failed our daughter, she felt she had failed her pony and it left us sad for a long time.  This is part of learning, and coping with whatever life throws at you.  You just have to emerge stronger and grow together.

I would like to tag the following blogging friends to share their own tenth photo:

Angie at Angie Muresan

Debra at 5th state

Millie at the Laurel Hedge

Trish at Trouvais
Greet at Belgian Pearls

and  Tish at A Femme d'un Certain Age.

I wish you all an excellent and sunny week!

workaway

I wonder how many of you know about workaway?  It's a site that puts people in touch.  Not like a matrimonial agency in touch, but more of a job seeker, back packer, looking for a place to sleep in touch.

Basically if you got behind in your garden, or you don't know when you'll have time to fix that fence, or you'd really like the shutters painted white but can't be bothered to do it yourself,  then this could be for you. 

I first found the site while looking for ideas for my daughter's gap year next year.  Once we filled out her 'profile', I decided to put up an ad for me as well, as a host that is,  not as a worker.   Ever since, to my total amazement, I get a couple of mails a week from all over the world, people offering to come and do jobs for me in exchange for some board and lodging.

Is your hair standing on end?

I'm sure that some may find the whole concept of hosting strangers a bit worrying, but here we're pretty laid back, and quite curious , and keen for the kids to meet people from outside our immediate circle of friends and acquaintances.

Through the winter I said no to everyone because it was just too cold and revolting outside to do anything at all.  But a couple of weeks ago we had our first 'workawayer'  for a few days, a lovely young girl from Lithuania who was totally charming.  She worked hard and did miracles in my garden, she left our guest cottage perfectly clean and tidy, and was really fun and friendly.

We still haven't found anything for my daughter, but I'm now considering hosting a couple of students from New York in May!  Has anyone else done this?

lunch chez claude

Well the weather is beautiful this week, so I though you might like to come over and spend the day with me tomorrow.  Try not to arrive too late,  I'll take you to see Giverny, it's only a short drive.

When we arrive we'll stop for a coffee at the Impressionist museum, this used to be the American museum, I love their terrace restaurant, and their small well laid out exhibitions.

Then we'll wander up to Monet's house, the most surprising pink, but we'll say how clever of him to paint his house to match the tulips.

In the garden shop, we'll feel nostalgic over the black and white photos of the man himself.

Of course we'll go through the tunnel to see the water lilies, and  gasp at the peonies and the irises. 

If there aren't too many people I'll show you inside his house; you'll love his blue and white kitchen, yellow dining room and bedrooms.

 And then we'll be able to say we deserve a glass of wine and we'll walk back through the village to have  lunch at the Hotel Baudy.

Their terrace overlooking a meadow is wonderful. When we've finished our meal we'll say that we need to digest and it would be a good idea to walk around the Hotel gardens, and you will discover what a very romantic untamed place that is.

Since you like to paint, you'll adore their artist's studio.

As we emerge from the gardens, we'll sigh and say "oh dear, the crowds have arrived, let's go " then jump back in the car and come home for tea.
If you like we'd even have time for a ride in the forest before you go, unless of course you decide to stay the night...... then we'll just have to make more plans for the next day.

 photos here

friendly kitchen

I love this photo, it's such a friendly looking room it is.  Spacious and light, without seeking to impress.  A table to sit around with friends and a glass of wine, while preparing a meal.

I love the colours, the old sign for sparkling wine on the wall, the farmhouse table.  Big doors lead out to a terrace or straight onto the lawn., and the family dog is probably about to trot in looking for a crust of something.
This is definitely not a 'fitted kitchen', I've never seen a lamp like that on a work top, but the whole thing just comes together.  Lunch in the country.

photo here

children grow up

I've been exchanging a couple of mails with Melissa recently.  Melissa resides here and we've been chatting.   It's funny how our family atmospheres seem similar despite different backgrounds etc, blog talk... you know... friendly.  Hers is obviously a happy family like ours, lively and fun. 

Anyway, her kiddies are younger than my youngest and it got me thinking about the different stages of child raising, and how we all enjoy the different bits and react in our individual ways.  

I'm wondering how you have handled it if you're a parent, or if you have any particular memories of your own parents parenting to you.

I have very few memories of my parents holding me back, but I'm discovering that that requires a lot of generosity and courage.  Especially when it gets to the sticky bits like boy/girlfriends, studies and career directions.

I adore my children, I've tried to be a hands-on mother, available to satisfy their demands, and throwing myself whole heartedly into home-making, school associations, open house to their friends, backing them in their sports and hobbies, teaching them to read, to paint etc etc.  But at the moment I have to admit that having 4 teenagers is a lot to handle.

Don't get me wrong, they are great kids, this is a happy home, their friends love coming here.   My children are in fact all incredibly zen -  they say they don't need to stress because I stress enough for the whole family!

Many of you, like Melissa, are enjoying that blessed time when your children are all little and family life is still at the top of everyone's agenda, when everyone pulls in the same direction.  A few years on and a teenager has his or her own agenda, and that's normal.   They are growing and changing, and  they force us to grow and change too.  I know this is nothing new, but I personally wasn't prepared enough.  It all happens too fast.

It's very hard to write this without sounding like a control freak!  Actually it's very hard to write this, period!

The last thing I'd want is for them to be here for ever and not manage to create their own lives.  But oh, how it aches when you worry about them going in the wrong direction.  I feel so proud of the people they are becoming, and yet I still want to guide them.  How often have I heard "Trust me Mummy!"

Today's world is big, competitive and aggressive.  One bit of me says "trust them, trust the way you've brought them up", but another part can't help but worry about the temptations they encounter, and the difficulties they'll come across.

We want them to have character, heaven knows they're going to need it, but often we tell them to tone it down.  We worry about the big wide world, yet we encourage them to travel afar and look for adventure.

So are you laughing at me?  Do you have little ones, and these worries seem far away?  Maybe you don't have children and you observe the parenting  around you?  If you could do it all over, would you change anything?  Do you prefer to over-protect, or let them learn through experience?  Will it suddenly seem straight forward once they are young professionals, or will this angst pursue me for a lot longer?  I'd love to hear your comments.  Thank you for listening!!