the french school year

For most French children the school year is drawing to a close and as always I am drawn to reflect upon the pros and cons of one country's educational system compared to another.  Did I do the right thing leaving them in the French system,  Should we have moved elsewhere? ...  Everyone does this, right?

When students leave French high school with the Baccalaureat , they can be sure of holding a qualification that means something and that is respected worldwide.  However, they can also be sure that they worked really hard to achieve it, and didn't have that much fun or creativity during their school years.

The advantage of the French system is that they keep their options wide open right up to, and including, the baccalaureat.   Even if they specialise in science or literature or economics, they still have to study maths, history, languages and philosophy!  The inevitable downside of this broad scope of subjects are the long hours - up to 40 hours of lessons a week plus a couple of hours of daily homework. They usually go to school 6 days a week.

But I think that what bothers me the most is the lack of praise and encouragement.  Both are surely vital to learning.  In the Anglo-saxon tradition we continually  encourage and build up confidence.  In France they prefer to use critique and the fear of failure.  This week thousands of French students will wait to know if they have ' got through' to the next school year, or if they are to be kept down to do the year again.

I am mostly happy with the education my four children have had or are receiving.  We worked hard at home to balance the lack of sport and creativity, and anyway this is where we wanted to live so we had to find the best local schools and do all we could to make them work.

So what I wonder is your attitude, do you just pack them off with their school bag and trust the system?  Have you been willing to move the whole family closer to the best school system?  Did you resort to boarding schools?  Or are they all grown now, and you just think that actually whatever the education they received, it all works out in the end?  I'd be interested to hear.

try again - the generation game

 I know it's sort of cheating to re-edit a post, but I liked my whole generation/teaching thing, and I'm sure that someone would be able to dig out a photo and share an idea on this.  So I am giving it one more go, just for 24 hours - but don't worry  - if nobody joins in I'll change my tune - I promise!!

When I tagged Greet a few days ago for her tenth photo,  I didn't know she was going to surprise us with a picture that would generate so much emotion.  She left us this great picture below of her father making a bird box with her son, who was then only 3 years old.  We all loved the picture, partly because it seemed to fit so well into Greet's beautiful blog, but also because teaching and sharing is so precious.

My dad also loved tools, and adored spending time with his grand children.  Here is a shot of him quite a few years back teaching my eldest, who was then 5, to polish his shoes!!  Can you see the concentration?  and the apron?  Do you notice how in both pictures the grand fathers let the grand sons try for themselves?

Any way this got me thinking about how different families will pass down their own particular knowledge.  Did you learn to embroider with your grandmother,  did your teenage cousin teach you how to paint your toenails,  were you taught to put up wallpaper by an uncle?  Who taught you to drive,  to bake a cake or make your own curtains?

I'd love to hear about it, maybe with a picture if you have one.  You can link up below and your thumbnail will be displayed with a link back to your post.  I'm leaving the link open till Friday 7th, so you have time to hunt that photo out.

children grow up

I've been exchanging a couple of mails with Melissa recently.  Melissa resides here and we've been chatting.   It's funny how our family atmospheres seem similar despite different backgrounds etc, blog talk... you know... friendly.  Hers is obviously a happy family like ours, lively and fun. 

Anyway, her kiddies are younger than my youngest and it got me thinking about the different stages of child raising, and how we all enjoy the different bits and react in our individual ways.  

I'm wondering how you have handled it if you're a parent, or if you have any particular memories of your own parents parenting to you.

I have very few memories of my parents holding me back, but I'm discovering that that requires a lot of generosity and courage.  Especially when it gets to the sticky bits like boy/girlfriends, studies and career directions.

I adore my children, I've tried to be a hands-on mother, available to satisfy their demands, and throwing myself whole heartedly into home-making, school associations, open house to their friends, backing them in their sports and hobbies, teaching them to read, to paint etc etc.  But at the moment I have to admit that having 4 teenagers is a lot to handle.

Don't get me wrong, they are great kids, this is a happy home, their friends love coming here.   My children are in fact all incredibly zen -  they say they don't need to stress because I stress enough for the whole family!

Many of you, like Melissa, are enjoying that blessed time when your children are all little and family life is still at the top of everyone's agenda, when everyone pulls in the same direction.  A few years on and a teenager has his or her own agenda, and that's normal.   They are growing and changing, and  they force us to grow and change too.  I know this is nothing new, but I personally wasn't prepared enough.  It all happens too fast.

It's very hard to write this without sounding like a control freak!  Actually it's very hard to write this, period!

The last thing I'd want is for them to be here for ever and not manage to create their own lives.  But oh, how it aches when you worry about them going in the wrong direction.  I feel so proud of the people they are becoming, and yet I still want to guide them.  How often have I heard "Trust me Mummy!"

Today's world is big, competitive and aggressive.  One bit of me says "trust them, trust the way you've brought them up", but another part can't help but worry about the temptations they encounter, and the difficulties they'll come across.

We want them to have character, heaven knows they're going to need it, but often we tell them to tone it down.  We worry about the big wide world, yet we encourage them to travel afar and look for adventure.

So are you laughing at me?  Do you have little ones, and these worries seem far away?  Maybe you don't have children and you observe the parenting  around you?  If you could do it all over, would you change anything?  Do you prefer to over-protect, or let them learn through experience?  Will it suddenly seem straight forward once they are young professionals, or will this angst pursue me for a lot longer?  I'd love to hear your comments.  Thank you for listening!!